I swatted at the 12th mosquito who tried to take me out in the middle of a conservation site, surrounded by 30 Grade 5 students with bug nets and jars.
JJ, came out of nowhere.
He has a tendency to do that.
I like JJ.
He and my son have been getting closer this year.
He is funny and sarcastic and a bit older than he needs to be at this age, but he means well.
Him: Sully’s mom?
Me: JJ, you’ve been to my home MANY times. My name is Jenn.
Him: Sure, sure. Do you have a job?
I looked down at the face of my son’s friend (not as far down as I used to have to look because these kids are growing FAST), whom I have known since they were 5 years old, in shock.
Me: What makes you think that I wouldn’t have a job?
Him: Well, you come on every single field trip. And Sully always talks about how much you do together. You are always around.
The lady was too stunned to speak….
As this 11-year-old stared up at me, waiting on me to answer, a million thoughts ran through my head.
I can’t tell an 11-year-old that I built this business from the ground up so that I could spend time with my kid.
That freedom to be at every game and every field trip and all of the important moments is worth WAY more to me than money.
That I can be there for my kid, without having to ask permission from someone. Without having to hoard my vacation days and dole them out evenly throughout the year. Without compromise.
That my parents weren’t there for the games and the field trips and all of the moments, and that even at 42, I am still sad about that.
That I stay up until 2 am some nights just so I can get my work done after an all-day field trip…but that I am grateful I have that choice.
That I never really subscribed to the 9-5, two weeks vacation, wear a blazer, life.
That I gave up acting, singing, and touring the moment the plus sign appeared on the stick.
You can’t really say these things to an 11-year-old who is holding onto a butterfly net in the middle of a conservation area just casually shooting the shit with you.
So I say, “Yup. I have a job. I am just very, very, very lucky that I can spend time with Sully any time I want.”
Him: Cool. **Runs off into the field with their friends to catch some interesting bugs.
And that, my friends, is the whole point. And I’ll never lose sight of that.
Why am I telling you this story?
Because I have been feeling ALL of the guilt around not being consistent with emailing.
Life has been getting in the way.
But it has been GOOD life.
Getting our temporary residency for Mexico.
Finding renters for our home here in Canada.
My son ‘graduating’ elementary school.
Packing up the past 6 years of our life into ‘Donate’, ‘Chuck’, ‘Pack for Mexico’, ‘Put in Storage’ piles.
It has been…a lot…
I needed the reminder that I built this business so I could live my life, not so it could run my life.
Thanks for being here.
Thanks for being patient.
I promise I’ve got some fun stuff coming your way next week, but I thought it was important to send this life reminder along before heading back to business as usual.
